So, to say I've been having a really hard time dealing with life right now is a HUGE understatement. Because I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY having a hard time dealing with life!!! My days are spent at school while Jackson is at home. My afternoons are spent at basketball practice while Jackson is at home. Some of my nights are spent at basketball games...while Jackson is at home....get me? I am SO physically and mentally exhuasted! I know the Lord has me in this position as a Coach and Teacher right now for a reason...but to be honest...life just sucks! I don't feel that I am being a good coach b/c my heart is with my family. I don't feel like I am being a good wife b/c my time/energy is spent with my team.
It doesn't help that my team is not what I hoped it would be. I have never seen so much apethy in my life!!! I mean REALLY! I came to the conclusion that I think some of the girls on the team just tried out or are on the team so that they could get into games free and watch the boys play. I have about 2 that really care and want to be there. We have not won a game all season and as a matter of fact are getting STOMPED! It hurts to care more than the girls on the team do. It makes me physically sick to my stomach to watch our game and then sit on the bleachers for the boys game and listen to my team cheer their little heads off for the boys. So sick in fact, that I loaded up the bus after our game last night and headed home. We lost by 58 points...yes I said 58!!!! And they didn't even seem to care. I wasn't going to let them sit there and care more about the boys game than they did their own.
Anyway...all that to say that the Lord is teaching me perseverance. Even when things are not as I would have them, when I am tired, and when I would be elsewhere. I am persevering for the sake of Christ...so that these girls will hopefully see Him through me. So, pray that I can not just "get through" these last 5 games. But that I would stand strong and be encouraged that the Lord too had to persevere. Therefore, I'm not alone.
"Therefore my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain."
1 Corinthians 16:58